An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.
Topic: COPING WITH A MARRIAGE OUTSIDE MY RELIGION.
Date: 31st March 2021.
Venue: Bed Briefing Telegram House.
Moderator: Miss Emelda Eze.
Collator: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie,
Before we kick off in treating today’s topic in details…I would like us defining these common terms in our own understanding.
MARRIAGE AND RELIGION
-Marriage, a legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any)
-Marriage is a legal union between a man and woman who are heartily ready to become husband and wife. And it’s also sanctioned and ordained by God.
While religion is:
– is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence.
– is any practice to which someone or group is seriously devoted to.
Moving on……….. In general,
A marriage is a formal or legal union or contract between two people or partners in a personal relationship… coming together to make a home(build a family).
Religion is that system of activities and beliefs directed towards that which is perceived to be of sacred value and transforming power.
Religion is just like a way of worship. People actually have their different ways of worship, that’s why we have different denominations in Christianity.
So moving into the main business of today having believe you now understand those terms above which we will be discussing more in details.
Interfaith marriage, otherwise called a mixed marriage is a Marriage between spouses professing different religions.
The Marriage depends on the religious doctrine of the two partners religion. Some which prohibit mixed Marriage while some allow it in a limited circumstances.
In an interfaith marriage… Most times Ladies are adviced to succumb to the male partners religion, that is the Ladies that follow their husband and not husband following their wife.
Do you think that would be a fair decision?
-That’s very unfair oooo for the ladies. As for me, i can’t do that. It either you go my church or no marriage…….
-It’s very unfair… But as they usually say that the man is the head of every family and should make most of the decisions…
I don’t see it as love.. Because the lady did it out of she wants to please the man by marrying him. but deep in her mind, she is not happy.
-This is so controversial but I must say that it is a 50-50 table. The two parties involved if from a different religion have to compromise. It’s something that has to be mutually agreed by both of them so that either of the party will compromise but left for me I can’t compromise .
-The thing I feel is some people doesn’t have religion or belief what they hold on to are just what their parent teaches them. Most people in the world are catholic because they saw themselves being born into a catholic home and boom they grow up like same with others so in marriage they confuse this things and it becomes a problem.
In a mixed Marriage each partner typically adheres to their own religion, but an important point to note is “WHAT FAITH WILL THE CHILDREN BE RAISED?”
Most of our parents have also been the major problem we have based on mixed Marriage. Denying us the gift of Marriage because our partner is of a different religion with us and I ask…Do you think mixed Marriage have effects on our marriage life?
– Yes it has.
If I’m a devoted legionary how do I intend to progress with that in my family without involving my wife while saying the rosary which she forbids. Despising the fact that family that prays together lives together.
Most times mixed Marriage is one of the problems we encounter in marriage. Father attends Catholic, Mother attends Winners Chapel.
What will actually be the fate of our children on this issue and what doctrine do you think would be administerd to the children?
Some of these Children grow to choose their own church too.
Several major religion are mute on the issue of mixed Marriage and still allow it with requirement to ceremony and custom.
According to article 16 of the UDHR; Men and women who have attained the age of majority have the right to marry without any limitation due to nationally or religion.
DISADVANTAGE OF MIXED MARRIAGE…
The major one is on the upbringing of the children, they will end of being confused and people without a common religious background.
Some may even stop attending church, it breeds children who are so much confused..
Another is fanaticism and being fanatical to a particular denomination as a result of this hatred and separation ensures… Others includes:
1) Derogatory comments in Public.
2)Loss of contact with friends or family that disapprove.
3) Negative Comments online or in media.
4) Negative stereotyping.
5) Rejection by family or being disinherited.
6)A sense of isolation etc.
What Joy is there in a family that disperse on Sunday for different churches not even coming together to pray as one family unlike families that pray together, attend one church and learn one doctrine of the church.
“A FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER.”
A friend’s story!
Obinna and Ada have been very good friends right from University. Obinna is an Anglican and Ada a Choosen.
Obinna wants to get married and due to the Love he have towards Ada, He wants to ask for her hand in marriage. Obinna’s Parents do not support him in marrying Ada because she is not of their religion while Ada’s Parents on the other hand discourages Ada from marrying an Anglican.
Obinna and Ada Loves each other so much and don’t see religion or their different denominations been a barrier for them being together.
Obinna pleads with Ada to change to Anglican whereas Ada pleads he change to Choosen. Ada’s Parents adviced her that even if he changes to Choosen and they wed…a little problem may arise after their wedding and he will change back to his church.
Due to pressure from both parents and the Love both partners have for each other decided to get married not minding their denominations and going against their parents wish.
What do you think will be the fate of the mixed marriage after a long run?
In what doctrine or faith will the children from that family be raised… Anglican or Choosen?
-Well, in this case it is just like a ludo game; the dice were are yet to be uncovered.
The family will might appear smooth at the beginning but thereafter the outcome will surface when there will be diverse beliefs among the children. The chosen ideology and theology is not the same with that of Anglican an can never be. Imagine the wife as a chosen prohibiting the daughter from putting on trouser in the family just because of the belief. Wahala sets in.
Do you think mixed marriage or interfaith Marriage should be encouraged?
-Not at all. Unless they can settle their difference so as not becoming a problem to their marriage.
RELIGION should never be a problem in ones marital life. Partners should make a wise decision in setting a good religious background for their children.
As someone would say…80% of those mixed marriages does not work. Therefore Parents should make a choice of denomination in which their children can be raised in the fear of God, thereby choosing one doctrine and religion for the sake of the future and the fate of their children.
Remember…A Family that prays together stays together.
Thank you all for your audience and God bless you.