An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.
Topic: NO SEX NO DATING; DO YOU THINK REGULAR SEX CONSOLIDATES EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP?*
Date: 14th January, 2021.
Venue: Bed Briefing Telegram House.
Moderator: Miss Emelda Eze.
Collation: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie.
Happy New year to you all.
This is actually the first class we are having this year and am happy seeing all of you again…
I suppose we already know the definition of these terms SEX and DATING.
Can someone give us his/her own definition of what he/she understands about the terms above?
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships whereby two people meet socially with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate. Sex has to do with sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.
SEX in this contest simply means a situation of male and female met each other in other to satisfy sexual urgent. Dating simply mean the relationship between the opposite sex before marriage which may involve sexual intercourse or not depending on the agreement of the both..
When we say Sex, the key word is intimacy, an intimate relationship between people, could still be one person, in order to satisfy an intent feeling, urge, or bring about emotional attachment. Then Dating, is simply an exercise between two marriage prospects with the aim of knowing how suitable one another is.
Sex: simply a relationship which involves sexual activities or sexual intercourse between a male and female
While dating simply a relationship between male and female who are not yet to be married to each other as husband and wife or living in a relationship as husband and wife that are not initiated by customs or belief..
Wonderful contributions….. But let’s go to the main business of the day.
WHAT IS SEX(VERB)?
SEX is an activity typically involving the insertion and thrusting of the male genital organ into the female’s for pleasure, reproduction or both.
This activity involves physical intimacy between two or more individuals and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure and can contribute to human bonding.
WHAT IS DATING?
DATING is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each accessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship.
This is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple either alone or with others.
Most people believe a relationship can never last up to 3 to 4months without sex. That sex is one of the pillars of a good relationship.
Some youths actually decide to go into relationship because of sex especially when they can’t get it just been friends with the person involved. Some men can actually go a long way even engaging a girl in other to have sex with her.
Some of our Ladies have decided to take sex as a profession. Making profits out of giving out ones body and this have made some men believe sex is easy to get.
…and I ask, do you think sex been easy to get have made True Love difficult to find?
Sex can never be love but the most annoying thing nowadays or should I say children of 21st century assume that without sex in a relationship his or her partner doesn’t have any feeling of love for him or her, Such relationships sometimes doesn’t last and I guess that’s actually why some people say true love is hard to find.
Do you believe that sex can bring two people that were never inlove together and can also break two lovers apart?
Sex can bring two people together but once the sex is no more the togetherness will seize. In this context, any dating that is built on true love should relegate sex to the background. Because for dating to be holistically certified, God and the two parties must be respected..
In terms of breaking two lovers apart. Some persons have actually told me that it is better one having sex before marriage to find out if the partner is good in bed that some don’t last a longer period while having sex.
What’s your opinion on that comment above?
So if one is to access his/her partner sexually before marriage and finds out he/she doesn’t last longer as expected you leave the person searching for a better one right.
That means you were never inlove with the person. Love doesn’t check all those things.
When you love someone and truly want to be with the person. You accept the flaws and weaknesses of your partner and help him or her work on it.
Marriage is the union of two imperfect people coming together to make a perfect home.
Ques1: What if at a point at the onset of your marriage you discover that your patner it sterile or infertile? This is choose why some people believe in sex before marriage.
Answer1: : Sex is meant strictly for married couple who accepts each other for better for worse. So in a case your partner is infertile as you said, is either you go for adoption or keep praying to God. A miracle can happen you know. So I advise the couple go for a marriage counseling for proper advise on that.
Answer2 : it can be handled medically God’s willing. Let look at it from the other angle, what if you have had sex with him and was satisfied but at the long run such issue develops? What of guys that insists that their wife to be must be pregnant before proper marriage rites can be performed … Okay, yes she later accepted because she was desperate and after the whole marriage bla bla bla.. she gave birth and the baby dies and from then she couldn’t conceive again… Or that would be your only child for life….
Answer3: Sterility or infertility is totally different from being sexually active and they can’t be determined by having sex. It is only when you go for medical check up that you can determine that.
Question2: Conception is one of the primus reasons for marriage. Like if not to have children and watch them grow into something what else give you joy in your marriage??
When we talk about this issue of marriage with it’s subjectives
Reproduction and so on
For you to have well Balance family you must consider all these subjectives cos all are very important no one is greater than the other
You can not use sex to suppress love because one day you will get tired of it and you can not use love to suppress sex and reproduction cos if love over shadow you, you might not be able to think about tomorrow you will be concern only on what can make you both happy at that point in time
So also if you make reproduction your priority you will end up having broken marriage if you are unable to get the children so in a nutshell I will say that both have to be considered and place in an equilibrium so as to balance the family growth.
Question3: Do you think one can build a good relationship without sex?
Answer: One can actually build a good relationship without sex when one builds a good relationship with God.
Although some people believe a relationship cannot last for a long time without sex. Couple who have the fear of God in them knowing that sex outside marriage is a sin can stay for a long time without sex.
But how many of these type of couple still exist.
As stated in the definition of sex above, Sex can contribute to human bonding.
Therefore Sex can actually strengthen a relationship
But a relationship built on sex is not Love, it’s just a pleasure of the moment. Deriving joy from the pleasure obtained at that time. A time will definitely come when one gets tired of it by then you have already laid your foundation on sex alone.
We should learn to always put God first in our relationships.
Having the same understanding. Been honest and truthful to your partner. Go on vacations, plan on building a fruitful marriage together if eventually you will be together forever.
So many things to discuss about life.
If a man doesn’t love a woman no matter how she does it on bed, he will never love the person. Let’s just be conscious of some things we involve ourselves in.
Sex should never be a reason for a relationship.
Sexual pleasure remember is just a thing of the moment. One building his or her relationship on sex is like laying blocks on a weak foundations.
One should learn to build a good relationship on better grounds that will stand forever. Let your relationship life be different amongst all, let people admire it…and above all put God first in your relationship. He alone can make that possible.
Thanks for your time!!!
God bless you!!!!!