SINGLE PARENTING: EFFECTS ON CHILDREN. Vol 9. No.25

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An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.

Topic: SINGLE PARENTING: EFFECTS ON CHILDREN

Date: 28 January, 2021.

Venue: Bed Briefing Telegram House.

Moderator: Miss Ezugwu Marycynthia.

Time: 7pm

Collation: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie.

As we all know our topic today is SINGLE PARENTING; EFFECTS ON CHILDREN.

Can any one give us his or her own understanding of what been a single parent means?

**** Single parent means when one among the parents take up the responsibilities of the family due to some circumstances.

SINGLE PARENT..

Single Parent is a person who lives with a child or Children and does not have a spouse.

We also have partial single parent
were by the father live in abroad, living the responsible to the mother alone.

We have cause of single parent.

CAUSES OF ONE BEEN A SINGLE PARENT INCLUDES:

1) Divorce
2)Break up
3) Abandonment
4)Death
5) Childbirth by a single person or single person adoption.
6) separation due to work

Do you think Single Parenthood has an effect on the child or Children?
**** Yes
It doesn’t give the child the holistic formation he/she needs in life.
There are some impact the mother has on children. Likewise, Father plays a significant roles on the children as well.

EFFECTS OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD ON CHILDREN…

We have both positive and negative effect, but I will start with the negative aspect of it.

NEGATIVE EFFECT OF SINGLE PARENT ON THE CHILDREN…

1) Financial Trouble
2) Low Parenting Quality
3) Children After Divorce
4) Emotional Problem
5) Loneliness
6) Adjustment Difficulties

1) FINANCIAL TROUBLE: Most single parent work long hours to meet up with the financial needs of the family. There are some chances when the children are denied of the requirements they need and the single parent has to juggle repeatedly between financial commitments. Due to financial problems a child may not be able to have the opportunity to fulfill his or her dream.

A girl wrote jamb and screening and was admitted into the University to study Medicine and surgery but due to lack of finance she was not able to further her education because she was left with only her mother to take up the responsibilities of the father due to her father is late.

What do you think will be the fate of the girl?
**** She will feel depressed and may feel the sorrows of not having a dad who will support the mother in raising up the finances required to sponsor her education.

2) EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS: Children in this condition may likely suffer from lack of self esteem. They may crave for affection which they may not get enough because of the parent busy schedules. Thus they may lose expectations in their relationship later in life or they will actually have more expectation for affection and company down the road but that will not create a healthy dynamic. They may take all blame for their living condition. It may be difficult to stop them from drawing comparisons.

3) CHILDREN AFTER A DIVORCE: If your reason for been a single parent is divorce. Children in this condition will also suffer from adjustment problems or may have the feeling of being ashamed. If your partner stops looking out after them as he or she use to do before. The children or child involved may badly suffer resentment. There are also chances they still hold on to bad memories of your divorce which can weigh them down.

4) LOW PARENTING QUALITIES: Your way of parenting suffers when marry busy schedules add to your everyday life. Your long hours of working may make you miss your important school functions and you may not afford a nanny to take out some valuable down time.

Most times the negative effects of single parent household are quite apparent; economic troubles and abandonment, related trust issues.

But there are also positive effect on raising a child.
They are;
1) Strong mother or father to child bond.
2) Strong sense of community
3) Share responsibilities
4) Maturity.

1) Strong mother or father to child bond: Spending quality time with your little ones creates a unique bond which will be stronger than the one if you were a nuclear Parent. It goes well in the case of custodial parent ( Having the responsibility for taking care of a child) and also non-custodial parents who play a significant role in their child’s life.

2) STRONG SENSE OF COMMUNITY: As with the phrase discussed above “it takes a village to raise a child”. It works with single parent families as well. Children who have single parent are will have many supporters. Most case the extended family members will play a unique role in a child’s life. Single Parent who do not live with their extended families will try participating in community group which may include single parent support group.

3) SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES: Children raised by single parent will not just have token responsibilities to do but their contribution to the complete family system is necessary. In this way, Children will understand the value of their contribution and can take pleasure in their work.

4) MATURITY: Children will find their Parent working hard, and it will force them to collaboyand work along with their parents. Additionally, the children will also learn to manage their disappointment in life.

Do you think Single parents are happy with their state?
**** No. Because they need company, companionship. Someone who will help ease their burden. Someone that will help in the responsibilities of the family.

SINGLE PARENTHOOD, AN OPTION FOR SINGLE LADIES?
▪Most persons in Igbo land need children of their own in a family setting. But a lady who is 45 years old may be losing the hope of getting married. Some believe they are comfortable and have the means to live a happy life but they want to have at least a child. Often, as good Christians, they ask me whether they can become pregnant and have their own children.
We know what Christianity teaches about this: *So, I often suggest adoption of an abandoned child.*
But, remove the Christian dimension and tell me in all sincerity what you think, especially if you were in their shoes.

IN CONCLUSION….

HELPFUL WAYS TO EASE SINGLE PARENTHOOD STRESS.

1)Set up a routine.

2)Taking care of yourself.

3)Offer unconditional love to your children or child.

4)Set ground rules.

5)Try handling finances.

6) Support group.

7)Give honest replies.

8)Remove guilt.

9) Remain positive.

10)Set up role models.

See you next week. God bless you!!!!!!

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